Love Life.

"We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible."-Oscar Wilde

I can not desribe in words the trip I just took over Labor Day weekend. Click Here for Pics.

Apologies for the lack of updates. Life suddenly has become quite busy.

Insomnia

Its 2 am, and I have no idea where my head is at. It seems to me that 2009 has not been a good year physically. I have sustained multiple injuries to my left hand this year, none of them from climbing, yet they continually are re aggrevated from climbing. It makes me want to scream. I'm looking at another month of 'rest' and it upsets me because all my goals have been derailed. In November I'm coming up on the end of my 5th year in this wacky sport, and everyday I feel more psyched and ready to push myself beyond my current limits. However at 26 I feel as though I am leaving my youth behind me, as well as the potential to build power. But that brings me to what's keeping me up this evening.

It is a wonderful feeling when the mind and the body exist on the same wavelength. Act as one, living within the moment, in the breath, free from distraction. These moments are rare, and in my experience tend to move in phases. Occasianaly these phases can be extended into days, sometimes weeks. If you have great mental strength, perhaps you always live in this phase. I have always been a realist; lets say this is the optimistic point of view of a pessimist. Self doubt has long been a resident of my thought process degrading my ability to hold onto that killer instinct in every sport I've participated in. The interesting bit is it only applies to activities which I care deeply for. For example, my love of rock climbing far outweighs my love of slacklining, but I am a much more accomplished slackliner than I am a rock climber. It is easy for me to find my ebb and flow on a line. Immediately before I even mount a line do my mind and body connect on the same frequency. It is because I always let go. I have no emotional ties to slacklining. The outcome from a day of slacklining has no affect on my emotional well being. Rock climbing on the other hand lends itself to obsessiveness. I spend many nights lying awake rehearsing sequences in my mind preparing myself to ascend lines that stand out. My ego is so intrinsically associated with rock climbing it has created a emotional void that can only be filled via send.

The re aggrevation of my collateral ligament occured only 3 days ago, but I am on the brink of insanity because I feel as if I'm withering away with out the one physical activity that makes me whole. As I grow older I fear I will need to create a new approach to all physical activities in my life. For now, I am at the peak of my physical prowess, and it is hard to be forced to rest. How does one mentally deal with such strife? I've tried all the usual distractions, but the aggregation of multiple injuries teasing me with full health aside from one joint and one ligament are killers.

Feeling vulnerable while seeking my flow. Don't take your health for granted, enjoy the shit out of it.

Baby You, You Got What I NeeeeeD.....

The last few weeks my house has turned into a hostel for rock climbers from Tennessee. It seems half the climbing community from Knoxville currently resides in Colorado for the summer, and I can't blame them. It has been really nice to catch up with old friends, and show them some Colorado Hospitality.
The more I mingle with climbers, the more I realize that we are actually quite a worldly bunch. There are few other sports which encourage a lifestyle of travel the way climbers experience travel. Traveling to destinations in remote regions away from the hustle and bustle of the 'tourist' experience, we see, feel, and understand culture better than most. For a long time I felt as though climbing was going to be another sport I'd fall out of after a few years, but I know now the draw is more than just movement and physical activity. There is an intrinsic association with the way we choose to live as well. I love climbing for everything it is off the rock as much as it is on the rock. Next time you go out, and get frustrated by your failures on the rock, remember everything you've learned from climbing off the rock.

Alex F. on Re-Entry Burn at Satellites.

Charlie on Slabrina at 3 Sisters

Desmond Tutu

Desmond Tutu recently wrote an article for the BBC concerning Barack Obama. I have always been a fan of Desmond Tutu. He is well spoken and well thought out, and I believe this article is worth reading. You can find it here.

The Volleyball Problem

My friend Koa, a volleyball coach, called me up today and asked me a question to help him coach his team. He has 14 players, and wants to create groups of 3 such that every player plays with every other player at least once. How does he go about creating those groups?

My first thought was to create a circle with each players name around the circle and draw lines which indicate who'd they'd be playing with.

But this creates problems because as you can see that means there are 364 different ways of grouping 3 people together amongst the 14 so that every players plays with another player at least once. (or so I think, I took Combinatorics too many years ago). I thought to myself, there must be some mistake, perhaps this model doesn't take into account duplicates. So I worked out an easier case: 2 person groups amongst a pool of 4 people.

Since order doesn't matter, all we are worried about is the fact that player 1 plays with player 2 at least once, duplicate entries do exist. moreover, this seems to be a horrid way of grouping folks together.

Perhaps a better method would be to have the 14 players count off to 5's, and group the 3 1's together, the 3 2's together, and so on. But how would you mix the players after they've played one set so that every player plays with every other player. The problem still stands. Any thoughts, ideas or solutions?

Motivation

Recently I have felt a lack of motivation with respect to climbing. Since I have moved from Tennessee back to Colorado, there have been very few lines which have caught my eye and excited my mind. There have been very few lines which keep me up at night while I dream of their movement, texture, and surroundings. The shape of the holds, the grittiness of the stone, the subtle movement of the hips. It's a shame. Is it that I'm slowly falling out of love with climbing? Although, to me, it feels funny to communicate those thoughts, that is the nature of my relationship with climbing. I am constantly itching to go, but I have no singular focus like other climbers seem to have. I have never been one to go out with an agenda. I am here today to tick this, this, and this. In fact on days I do go out with an expectation of sorts, I fail miserably. However, I do have an innate desire to improve, to form a larger schema of climbing movement, to climb more fluidly and with greater control, style and flair. But that is a result of human nature more than a reason to undertake climbing. Show me a climber who does not want to improve, and I will show you the exception to the rule.

There once was a lot of stability in my climbing. I don't mean in terms of movement or technique, but rather the atmosphere of my climbing. I had my partners, my gym, and my favorite pair of shoes. Now it seems as if my climbing constantly tends towards entropy. I don't necessarily feel as though sharing moments outdoors with a variety of people is a bad thing whatsoever, but it certainly does affect my level of motivation and psyche. Considerations such as will my partners give me a good belay, a safe spot, and friendly smile come into play in my mind, and very much determine my level of climbing. In the end it is a weakness, because I understand the root cause comes from insecurity. Occasionally the opinions of my partners matters, even though I know it never should. Climbing is an individual pursuit.

Tomorrow I boulder with a good friend of mine, a partner I trust, a partner I have built a connection with, and who motivates and keeps me in a zone where I can have a singular focus. Tomorrow, I shall return to what brought me in the first place.


An image from the early days. Backside of Senitas.

The List

It seems posting the goals of the upcoming year is quite en vogue right now, so I'm jumping on the bandwagon and posting some of my goals. It also forces me to hold myself accountable for the production or lack thereof in the next year with respect to climbing. Here are just a few problems that really stick out in my mind that I would like to tick, and their respective grades.

--v4--
Spewbacca, Flatirons
--v5--
Lobster Claw, Hueco*
Germ Free Adolescence, Eldo
--v7--
The Ineditable, Independence Pass
Doughboy, Carter Lake
Baby Face, Hueco Tanks*
--v8--
Turning Point, Flatirons
Skipper D, RMNP
The Orb, Rocktown*
--v9--
Handicapps, RMNP
--v10--
Tower of Power, Flatirons

--5.7--
The Bastille Crack, Eldo
--5.10--
Rock Wars, RRG*
--5.11--
Purple Toe Nails, Shelf
--5.12--
Sargasso Sea, Dream Canyon
Tell Tale Heart, Boulder Canyon


* If I can make a trip out to said destination

Taming Infinity

Mathematics is the most beautiful, creative art that exists. Unfortunately it is lost on most. This lecture given by Manil Suri doesn't require any formal mathematical training, and if you have an extra hour of time, and interest in the existence of different sizes of infinity I implore you to watch this.

Back To Basics

Went to Cherry Creek Reservoir for the magic hour today. It was cold. I was reminded of the following poem. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by: Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of the easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.

Werd Birds.

I wanted to go out on the ice, but got scared.

I may never be a Germ Free Adolescent

Anyone who has known me for the last 3 years, also knows of my harrowing tale with the Germ Free Boulder. On a fateful November day, I stepped up anxious to climb this front range classic with the knowledge that the giants of early Colorado bouldering had ascended this line before me. John Sherman and John Gill are a few names that come to mind. As the session progressed so did my uneasiness and anxiety. Egged on by my friends, I commited to the movements, that is of course until I looked down. Struggling to find my breath, feeling the lack of chalk on my hands, I moved to the next hold. I did not make it, and fell hard. The 5 pads and spotters did not do much for my angle of descent. One hairline fracture later, and that was the last day of climbing for almost 12 months, and the first day of Das BooT.

3 years later I returned to this boulder. Still Uneasy. Still Anxious.

At this point I wish I could relay the story of victory and accomplishment, but for me that doesn't seem to be the nature of bouldering. It is filled with more days of crushing defeat than plain crushing, but that is why it is a sport for the headstrong and the will of the heart. In short I will be returning soon to this boulder...Ultimatly to conquer my fear, but also to climb in the footprints of the greats.

Regardless, Matt, Katy, and I had a great day. Perfect temps, good laughs, and stout sandbagged problems. As always, they were followed by beers. And now the pics....


Matt working out the move on the right sit start of GF.

Matt flailing with a foolish face.

Katy allowing me the pleasure of her portrait.

Crossing the river is always a debauchle. Hilarity usually ensues.

R.I.Px (tks Tony)

On Friday, I participated in an elective surgery known as Lasik. Now this "surgery" only takes a few fleeting moments, but under the laser it feels like a lifetime. Luckily my Somalian Dr., Dr. Ali straight hooked it up. And contrary to popular belief he was well fed. (I profusely apologize for my stereotyping so save yourself time on the hate mail). They asked me, "Said, are you anxious, would you like a Valium?"
At this point I had no reservations about the procedure, and I'm not usually one to pop pills. Well immediately afterwords they gave me paperwork to sign which states all the risks and possible sideffects of Lasik.

You may completely lose vision.
Corneal Abrasion.
Loss of Night Vision.
Halos.
You may be attacked by man eating tigers of the Sonderbon.

To say the least I became anxious, and immediately asked for the Valium.
They numbed my eyes with some crazy drops, gave me a stress ball that took the shape of an eyeball with cornea, iris, and all and told me not to blink.

The ticking of the laser, the cutting of the corneal flap, and the claustaphobic nature got my heart racing. I was extremely uncomfortable, and didn't understand a word of my 3 surgeons as they went on with their eye jargon.

But in the end it was all worth it solely for the cool sunglasses they gave me.

F#@k em up F#@k em up GO C - U !!!!

I recently received my Septemeber 2008 Alumni newsletter from the University of Colorado at Boulder. The headlining article is about CU's beloved mascot Ralphie. It laid out the illustrious history of Ralphie, which I won't bore you non CU fans with, but also had a tidbit about Ralphie V, the newest buffalo to stampede across Folsom Field. In her first running, the Spring game in Boulder, she bowled over 1 of her handlers, and of the other 4, only 1 was fast enough to hang on to her. The video is here.

LOCAL HOMELESS MAN SELLS THOUGHTS ON EBAY

Applying for jobs is about as much fun as bobbing for apples in lemon juice after having been shaved by a blind barber with a rusty blade. Clearly the raucous effects of the hunt have not had healthy nor positive effects on my personal appearance. My days are filled with wearing my mother's old scrubs and perusing the Internet for tidbits of entertainment, most of which fail in keeping my mind interested for more than a few fleeting moments at a time. Boredom is the word of the day folks, brought to you by the letter 'B.'
In fact in these times of desperation, I have succumbed to the dreaded career aptitude test which tend to be as random as a family guy episode. The latest test asked me to click on my favorite colors amongst a graph of 20 colors until there were no colors left. Huzzah! I should be a financial analyst! How depressing, the perfect job is the fabled pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Perhaps my experiences have left me slightly cynical of this whole proposition known as a career. I just want enough money to go rock climbing and learn mathematics.

Solitary Moments

Nostalgia

I miss my friends in Colorado.

Contemptible Confusion

What is it that we seek in this life anyway? For some the answers seem to pop into mind immediately. Mine is often overwhelmed with a million desires leading to utter confusion. I don't understand how life can be so complex, and so simple at the same time. It is all dependent upon what the desire of the moment is. Life is fleeting moments, moments that can not be captured except in the memory, and even then, we skew and change them to what our perception craves. I suppose that is why I am so enthralled with activities that force you to live the moment. Climbing, mathematics, and slacklining transform my thoughts into simplicity. But there is a dire side effect : it has turned me into an insomniac. I spend late nights lying in bed wishing I could fall into dream land worrying about my next move, how to fulfill my next temporary desire. It leaves me angry and sleepy.

And now some old pictures for your reminiscing/viewing pleasure:


Bicky and Jake

The Mathemagician (it didn't go over well as a Halloween costume)

How I feel.

Leaving is Not The Easiest Part

A good friend of mine said "isn't it ironic that once you find you are leaving the mountains you become passionate about them." Its all too true, but its even more true for your friends and family. What is it you live for? I live for relations with people, my friends, my family, my girlfriends, when I'm lucky enough to have them. Perhaps its the fact that I've had some of the best hugs of my life this last week from both guys and gals, but I've become overly sentimental of every moment I have left in Colorado.

Top 5 things I'll miss living in Colorado:

5. Secluded Wilderness

4. Dry and Arid Air

3. "The Local Knowledge"

2. Colorado Micro Brews

1. My Friends' Mothers

And now a picture for you viewing enjoyment:

Cyclic Numbers

142857 is a cyclic number — you can find its multiples by just rotating its digits:

• 142857 x 1 = 142857
• 142857 x 2 = 285714
• 142857 x 3 = 428571
• 142857 x 4 = 571428
• 142857 x 5 = 714285
• 142857 x 6 = 857142

CooL!

My Connective Tissue Hurts

I climb to the heavens
I jump to the seas,
Sometimes when I climb
I cut the cheese.

I climb till it hurts
Flirt with danger in spurts,
My Friends give me Pert
Cause my hairs smells like dirt.