R.I.Px (tks Tony)

On Friday, I participated in an elective surgery known as Lasik. Now this "surgery" only takes a few fleeting moments, but under the laser it feels like a lifetime. Luckily my Somalian Dr., Dr. Ali straight hooked it up. And contrary to popular belief he was well fed. (I profusely apologize for my stereotyping so save yourself time on the hate mail). They asked me, "Said, are you anxious, would you like a Valium?"
At this point I had no reservations about the procedure, and I'm not usually one to pop pills. Well immediately afterwords they gave me paperwork to sign which states all the risks and possible sideffects of Lasik.

You may completely lose vision.
Corneal Abrasion.
Loss of Night Vision.
Halos.
You may be attacked by man eating tigers of the Sonderbon.

To say the least I became anxious, and immediately asked for the Valium.
They numbed my eyes with some crazy drops, gave me a stress ball that took the shape of an eyeball with cornea, iris, and all and told me not to blink.

The ticking of the laser, the cutting of the corneal flap, and the claustaphobic nature got my heart racing. I was extremely uncomfortable, and didn't understand a word of my 3 surgeons as they went on with their eye jargon.

But in the end it was all worth it solely for the cool sunglasses they gave me.